Today we’re talking about vows – with a twist!
When couples exchange vows at their wedding ceremony they say beautiful words to each other. However, more than that, they are giving their word to their spouse. It is HUGE. “Giving one’s word” is an oath, a sacred promise, a pledge, and an assurance.
Just as two marriers share promises in their vows, I would like to offer my “Officiant Vows” to couples I marry.
I promise that you will be legally married at the end of your wedding ceremony. I will fulfill my legal responsibilities to the letter.
I promise you personalization and authentic representation. You will always see and have an opportunity to co-create and edit the ceremony before the Big Day (unless it’s the bare-bones legal signing ceremony).
I promise to support you, and to be a calm presence through the process. Guidance will be offered, ideas may be put forth, and questions will be answered.
I will maintain good working relationships with the other vendors you have hired, and support them, as appropriate, with their work. I will tag them on social media and respect their contributions to your celebrations.
I promise to respect faith, traditions and beliefs in the ceremony. I offer complete inclusivity, and I will deliver professionalism. I promise to do my best with whatever it is you ask of me in the line of my ceremonial duties.
I promise I will not wreck photos by being in the way. I will step out of the way when someone else is giving a reading, when you say your vows, when the rings are presented to you (so everyone can see), and especially when you have your first married kiss. I will deliver the wedding ceremony with sincerity, warmth, joy, positivity, humour, and composure. I may make some errors, and I will learn from them; my imperfection as a human will not diminish my devotion to making your wedding a memorable celebration of your love and commitment.
These are my solemn vows!
A couple of years ago I had a horrible case of Covid during wedding season. A colleague officiant from All Seasons Weddings substituted for me and delivered a ceremony. A few days later I got an email from the couple saying I had “wrecked the entire wedding” by omitting three sentences, and that they needed to take a trip to Europe “to heal” from the disappointment. The couple had sent at least 6 variations variations of this one paragraph; they got lost in the pile of emails in my Inbox (and the stupid way that emails get stacked in each other). And TBH, my Covid-addled head was not functioning well. I had sent a final draft, and they approved it, so that’s what got printed for the substitute officiant. I took responsibility for the error and apologized; I even offered to refund their free (and they took the money!!!!)
Reality: It’s “for better for worse”. That applies to marriage and also to officiants. It was discouraging how the couple showed absolutely no empathy. I wonder if they’re still married.
